Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

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Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  Missguise on Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:58 pm

okay here is the first rewritten completely unedited version of the first visionary adventure, fellow visionaries feel free to edit (mark your changes!!) as you see fit

[OUTDATED, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN]
Visionaries Story #1

Scene # 1
Knightslider after finishing a concert and turning down many hotel beds finds himself moving from roof top to roof top, when he sees a women in an ally being mugged by some strange men in robes
He drops down too save her
A few kicks and well placed punches and the men are running away but not before they took the lady’s necklace
Knightslider: < wow she’s hot>
“are you okay” as he helps the woman the woman up”
Psychic Flare: *blushes* “I’m fine, and the name is Kerrie”
“and don’t worry it went this was the plan”
Knightslider:*looks confused well as confused as he can look with his face covered by a ninja mask* “you mean you meant for creepy guys to beat up on you”
Psychic Flare: “If you would like you can come with me and I’ll explain”
Knightslider: <hmm she is stranger but is also hot>
Psychic flare: *blushes again* “thanks”
Knightslider: ”What?”
Psychic flare: “so are you coming” *she is heading towards a parked car outside the ally* “trust me, what I have to say will definitely interest you”
*Inside the car”
Psychic Flare: “ the group I work with has been tracking these guys for months”
Knightslider: “who is we, what is this group are you with?
Psychic flare: “it’s a government group called the institute, I’m sorry but I can’t tell you more without the proper clearance, which if you’re as helpful as I hope won’t be an issue”
Knightslider: “can you at least tell me who those robe guys were?”
Psychic Flare: “they call themselves the followers of Azgarath”
Knightslider: “what is an Azgarath?”
Psychic Flare: “we don’t know much but it’s bad, secondly as I said earlier that attack earlier was part of a plan”
“the followers have been collecting necklaces with unique magical energies the past few months, that one was bugged”
Knightslider: “what good is an insect on a necklace ? “
Psychic flare: “it means we can see where they are, and when they stop, maybe you can help me kick some bad guy butt?”
Knightslider: “Hai”
New scene
Oceania is walking along a street, in the evening time with tons of shopping bags on her arms
Oceania: <wow I love this America, so many more shops than in the market place on my island>
*as she is passing by an ally way, a robed figure pulls her in where she is surrounded by at least 5 followers*
Oceania: “oh you pick the wrong girl to mess with”
*she starts to form a water blast. But her movements are slowed by all the shopping bags, and she is overwhelmed, her necklace torn off and she is knocked out cold*
* Back in the car*
PF: “ I’m part of a government agency know as the institute, its super top secret so I can’t tell you much more for now”
“Anyway, we’ve been tracking this cult for awhile and they’re up to something major tonight, and we’ve got to stop them.”
“Thanks to the bug we’ve tracked them to an abandoned warehouse and I have only one question for you”
“Are you ready, cause we’re here”
KS : “I forgot condom!"
*crazy pose*
*pause*
"Oh wait. Yes, I am ready."
*They leave the car, and as they approach the warehouse they see a figure*
*Takashi reaches for his katana*
Pf: “ Wait Knightslider she’s back up”
*The figure gets closer and it’s an attractive women in a suit with her blond hair in a bun*
MS: “I’ve already surveyed the area, there are about a dozen or so followers in there, and they’ve already started chanting we don’t have much time”
PF: “so the straight forward approach then?”
MS: “of course, and who’s the ninja?”
PF: “I’ll explain later”
*Burst through the front door*
* fighting breaks out*
*about half way into the fighting a really pissed of oceania blast through the wall*
O: “Where is my necklace!”
*She starts to kick major ass*
*At some point mindshift goes over to the necklaces and takes before she can leave the spot she is attacked and her necklace (maybe of a fairy?) falls off, The red portal that was forming turns green and the ground shakes, a green light shoots out*
* with their ritual ruined the followers flee*
Ending scene 1
*a little green light enters a hospital room where the is a sick little girl asleep (cleo) the light enters her body and the girls eyes shoot open glowing emerald*
* Agent Mindshift is handing the necklaces over to a man siting at a desk (we only see his back*
MS: “ here they are just like you ordered sir”
??: “thank you very much Agent Mindshift, your dismissed”
*the necklaces are placed in a magical looking box”

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:26 am

[Ok, I did some dialogue edits, mostly for Knightslider. I also spaced out the formatting so it's easier to see who's talking.

[OUTDATED, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN]
Visionaries Story #1

Scene # 1

[here will be re-edit of concert scene posted earlier]

Knightslider, after finishing a concert and turning down many hotel beds, finds himself moving from roof top to roof top, when he sees a women in an alley being mugged by some strange men in robes.

He drops down to save her
A few kicks and well placed punches and the men are running away but not before they took the lady’s necklace

Knightslider: < wow she’s hot>
“Are you having okay?” he asks as he helps the woman the woman up.

Psychic Flare: *blushes* “I’m fine, and the name is Kerrie”
“And don’t worry it went this was the plan.”

Knightslider: *looks confused - well as confused as he can look with his face covered by a ninja mask*
“You were meaning for creepy guys to beating up on you?”

Psychic Flare: “If you would like you can come with me and I’ll explain”

Knightslider: <hmm... she is stranger... but hot!>

Psychic flare: *blushes again* “thanks”

Knightslider: ”Nani?”

Psychic flare: “So are you coming?” *she is heading towards a parked car outside the alley* “Trust me, what I have to say will definitely interest you.”

*Inside the car”
Psychic Flare: “The group I work with has been tracking these guys for months.”

Knightslider: “Who is they, what is this group are you with?"

Psychic flare: “It’s a government group called the institute, I’m sorry but I can’t tell you more without the proper clearance, which if you’re as helpful as I hope, won’t be an issue.”

Knightslider: “Are you at least being able to say who robed men are?”

Psychic Flare: “They call themselves the followers of Azgarath.”

Knightslider: “What is an Azgarath?”

Psychic Flare: “We don’t know much but it’s bad, secondly as I said earlier that attack on my in the alley earlier was part of a plan.”
“The followers have been collecting necklaces with unique magical energies the past few months, and that one I was wearing was bugged.”

Knightslider: “What is for an insect on necklace?"

Psychic flare: “It means we can see where they are. When they stop, maybe you can help me kick some bad guy butt?”

Knightslider: “Hai!”

New scene
Oceania is walking along a street, in the evening time with tons of shopping bags on her arms

Oceania: <wow I love this America, so many more shops than in the market place on my island>
*as she is passing by an ally way, a robed figure pulls her in where she is surrounded by at least 5 followers*

Oceania: “oh you pick the wrong girl to mess with”

*she starts to form a water blast. But her movements are slowed by all the shopping bags, and she is overwhelmed, her necklace torn off and she is knocked out cold*

* Back in the car*

PF: “ I’m part of a government agency know as the institute, its super top secret so I can’t tell you much more for now”
“Anyway, we’ve been tracking this cult for awhile and they’re up to something major tonight, and we’ve got to stop them.”
“Thanks to the bug we’ve tracked them to an abandoned warehouse and I have only one question for you”
“Are you ready? 'cause we’re here!”

KS : “I forgot condom!"
*crazy pose*
*pause*
"Oh wait. Yes, I am ready."

*They leave the car, and as they approach the warehouse they see a figure*
*Takashi reaches for his katana*

PF: “ Wait Knightslider, she’s back up”
*The figure gets closer and it’s an attractive women in a suit with her blond hair in a bun*

MS: “I’ve already surveyed the area, there are about a dozen or so followers in there, and they’ve already started chanting we don’t have much time”

PF: “so the straight forward approach then?”

MS: “of course, and who’s the ninja?”

PF: “I’ll explain later”
*Burst through the front door*
* fighting breaks out*

[I'll insert some fighting, too Smile]

*about half way into the fighting a really pissed of oceania blast through the wall*

O: “Where is my necklace!”
*She starts to kick major ass*
*At some point mindshift goes over to the necklaces and takes before she can leave the spot she is attacked and her necklace (maybe of a fairy?) falls off, The red portal that was forming turns green and the ground shakes, a green light shoots out*

* with their ritual ruined the followers flee*

Ending scene 1

*a little green light enters a hospital room where the is a sick little girl asleep (cleo) the light enters her body and the girls eyes shoot open glowing emerald*

* Agent Mindshift is handing the necklaces over to a man siting at a desk (we only see his back*
MS: “ here they are just like you ordered sir”

??: “thank you very much Agent Mindshift, your dismissed”
*the necklaces are placed in a magical looking box”


Last edited by TakashiHakiro on Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:07 am; edited 1 time in total

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okay latest version of the first story

Post  Missguise on Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:38 am

[CURRENT VERSION]

Visionaries Story #1

Scene # 1

"Ladies and gentlemen; it pleases me to introduce to you all, from Japan, Takashi Hakiro!" The crowd roared in response, as the blonde pop star walked calmly to the microphone placed on the stage. Behind him was his band; all of them tuned and prepared to play their number one hit single. He nodded towards the crowd and waved his hands high above his head.

"Hello all peoples that are out there!" he shouted to the crowd. "Are you all ready to become stones?" The crowd just roared even louder than before. He motioned to his band and they began to play. Far in the back, by a pair of emergency exit doors stood two soldiers, one male, the other female. The male solider just chuckled at Takashi's comment.

"If he continues to talk like that," he muttered close to the female solider, "we'll be trying to kiss Japan's ass just to keep good relations with them."

"So his grasp of the English language isn't the best," the female shrugged in response. "Just relax, enjoy the music and don't worry about anything." The male solider smirked.

"You call this music?" He shook his head in disgust. "How can you even understand what he's singing?"

"...I'm a closet anime geek," the female solider replied with a smile. The first sighed and shook his head.

"Well...this is Seattle; I'm not entirely surprised."

They turned back towards the stage. Takashi continued to bop and sing aloud to the crowd. Their good time was soon interrupted, however, as a large section of the wall blew away. Floating in mid-air was a collection of robed men chanting heavily. They lowered to the ground as the crowd fanned away from them in a panic. The female soldier frowned. "...Looks like..."

"...We've got trouble."

"We are here for the artifact!" the figures bellowed. Innocents tore through the crowded auditorium quickly and in a state of panic. The robed figures made their way towards the grandstand, which by this time the band had fled. Only Takashi remained, seemingly frozen in fear. "We can feel the artifact, we know it is here. Bring it to us, we will do anything necessary to find it!" The robed figures drew closer to the cameras before the stage. "We will kill every man woman and child in this auditorium!"

The two soldiers ran onto the stage drawing their guns, and aimed at the robed figures.
"Get behind us Takashi!" yelled the male solider. "Stop! US Army! Don't come any closer or we'll shoot!" Takashi stumbled backwards awkwardly, leaning against an amp.

The robed figures looked up at the soldiers and the figure in front raised a hand. The soldiers trained their weapons on him, but before they could shoot, they were flung backwards against the wall behind the stage, the set falling down upon them. Takashi shrieked, scrambling around the stage as the robed men released further blasts of energy. Somehow - whether through luck or skill - Takashi managed to dodge every attack and even thwart the advance of the robed men. All throughout he was pleading for his life. The robed men advanced slowly despite his efforts, aiming punches at him.

"Please! Not face!" He caterwauled, finally falling off the side of the stage in a spectacular save that prevented a fist from colliding with his nose. The robed men stalked around the stage, ignoring the rock-star for the moment.

The soldiers were back on their feet, and the female launched herself at the robed men. There was a brief struggle, and the robed man blasted at the her. It could have knocked her back on her feet...If not for the arrival of a black clad figure who appeared out of nowhere, grabbed ahold of the woman and teleported her out of the range of the attack, leaving behind a cloud of white mist. The robed men growled and turned to face the new threat.

"Do not interfere. We will find the artifact."

"I am thinking maybe... no?" replied the new presence, who appeared to be a ninja of some sort. His accent was thick and familiar. A long ribbon hung from his head and in his hands were two katanas. One was fairly normal, but the other glittered with gems and gold, the blade engraved with ancient Japanese runes. The robed figures seemed agitated, and swiftly descended upon the ninja.

"The blade is the artifact! Give it to us!" The ninja backed away, slashing at the robed men and dodging with nearly inhuman dexterity.

"Nani? This katana is not yours! I stole it first! You cannot have!" he said, suddenly disappearing from beneath the gang-pile and reappearing in a puff of white smoke above them, falling down on top and knocking out several at once. One reached up and grabbed the katana, and while the ninja was distracted with pulling it away once more, the remaining robed figure smashed him over the head from behind with the broken guitar Takashi had been playing earlier. He groaned, and fell forward unconscious.

He awoke several minutes later, his head resting in the lap of the female solider. His first reaction was to grin; the second was to reach up to his face in a panic, hoping the mask had not been removed. The female's hand reached up and pressed his hand against his face. The mask was still in place.

"Don't worry," she said with a grin. "I didn't look. Thank you." she said. The ninja sat up, still rubbing the back of his head. The male soldier was just getting up as well, dusting himself off. In the distance, the ninja heard sirens approaching. He looked at the female and winked.

"I am needing to be going." he said. The female solider grinned and nodded.

"Get going then." As she spoke, the male solider had regained his faculties and spoke out in protest.

"Hey wait, we can't just let him go--" As he spoke, the ninja disappeared, leaving nothing behind, so it seemed. The female solider stood, something clenched in her hand. "What's that?" asked the male solider, coming closer. The female solider looked down, opening her hand.

"It's a... flower petal?"
Knightslider, after finishing the concert and turning down many hotel beds, finds himself moving from roof top to roof top, when he sees a women in an alley being mugged by some strange men in robes.

He drops down to save her
A few kicks and well placed punches and the men are running away but not before they took the lady’s necklace

Knightslider: < wow she’s hot>
“Are you having okay?” he asks as he helps the woman the woman up.

Psychic Flare: *blushes* “I’m fine, and the name is Kerrie”
“And don’t worry it went this was the plan.”

Knightslider: *looks confused - well as confused as he can look with his face covered by a ninja mask*
“You were meaning for creepy guys to beating up on you?”

Psychic Flare: “If you would like you can come with me and I’ll explain”

Knightslider: <hmm... she is stranger... but hot!>

Psychic flare: *blushes again* “thanks”

Knightslider: ”Nani?”

Psychic flare: “So are you coming?” *she is heading towards a parked car outside the alley* “Trust me, what I have to say will definitely interest you.”

*Inside the car”
Psychic Flare: “The group I work with has been tracking these guys for months.”

Knightslider: “Who is they, what is this group are you with?"

Psychic flare: “It’s a government group called the institute, I’m sorry but I can’t tell you more without the proper clearance, which if you’re as helpful as I hope, won’t be an issue.”

Knightslider: “Are you at least being able to say who robed men are?”

Psychic Flare: “They call themselves the followers of Azgarath.”

Knightslider: “What is an Azgarath?”

Psychic Flare: “We don’t know much but it’s bad, secondly as I said earlier that attack on my in the alley earlier was part of a plan.”
“The followers have been collecting necklaces with unique magical energies the past few months, and that one I was wearing was bugged.”

Knightslider: “What is for an insect on necklace?"

Psychic flare: “It means we can see where they are. When they stop, maybe you can help me kick some bad guy butt?”

Knightslider: “Hai!”

New scene
Oceania is walking along a street, in the evening time with tons of shopping bags on her arms

Oceania: <wow I love this America, so many more shops than in the market place on my island>
*as she is passing by an ally way, a robed figure pulls her in where she is surrounded by at least 5 followers*

Oceania: “oh you pick the wrong girl to mess with”

*she starts to form a water blast. But her movements are slowed by all the shopping bags, and she is overwhelmed, her necklace torn off and she is knocked out cold*

* Back in the car*

Psychic flare:“We’ve been tracking this cult for awhile and they’re up to something major tonight, and we’ve got to stop them.”
“Thanks to the bug we’ve tracked them to an abandoned warehouse and I have only one question for you”
“Are you ready? 'cause we’re here!”

Knightslider : “I forgot condom!"
*crazy pose*
*pause*
"Oh wait. Yes, I am ready."

*They leave the car, and as they approach the warehouse they see a figure*
*Takashi reaches for his katana*

Psychic flare: “ Wait Knightslider, she’s back up”
*The figure gets closer and it’s an attractive women in a suit with her blond hair in a bun ( this is the female soldier from the concert)*

Knight Slider: “Oh! You are nice lap!”

Mindshift: “umm, Thanks I think”
“Any way, I’ve already surveyed the area, there are about a dozen or so followers in there, and they’ve already started chanting we don’t have much time”

Psychic flare: “so the straight forward approach then?”

Mindshift: “of course”


*Burst through the front door*
* fighting breaks out*

[I'll insert some fighting, too ]

*about half way into the fighting a really pissed of Oceania blast through the wall*

Oceania: “Where is my necklace!”
*She starts to kick major ass*
*At some point Mindshift goes over to the necklaces and takes before she can leave the spot she is attacked and her necklace (maybe of a fairy?) falls off, The red portal that was forming turns green and the ground shakes, a green light shoots out*

* with their ritual ruined the followers flee*

Ending scene 1

*a little green light enters a hospital room where the is a sick little girl asleep (Cleo) the light enters her body and the girls eyes shoot open glowing emerald*

Ending Scene 2

* Agent Mindshift is handing the necklaces over to a man sitting at a desk (we only see his back*
Mindshift: “ here they are just like you ordered sir”

??: “thank you very much Agent Mindshift, your dismissed”
*the necklaces are placed in a magical looking box”

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:38 pm

Additional editing by others is really encouraged so you can flesh out your characters and how they act! Heck, Bill, you could probably go into the concert scene and add in some thoughts and stuff for Missguise. I wrote the part originally as if she were just random female solider A, but now that she's an actual hero, there's definitely room for more.

I hope you guys don't mind if I flesh out Kerrie some more too; I remember how (can't remember her name!) used to play her so I'll try to do my best Smile

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  Psychic Flare on Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:04 am

[CURRENT ADDENDUM]

OCC: Just my take on the scene above to get a feel for writing Kari since it's been a while. If I seem off on my writing of other characters please let me know and I'll edit.


Kari Andrews, aka Psychic Flare sighed inwardly as she walked down the long dark alley, fighting off the urge to turn and attack the robed figures that she could easily sense behind her, despite the fact that they were trying to be silent. Well most of them were, apparently one of the guys had failed stealth in evil monk training school because she didn't need her psychic powers to hear him trying to "sneak up" on her. She sighed inwardly again as one of them grabbed her and again forced herself not to react as she was surrounded. One of the men grabbed the amulet she wore around her neck and she relaxed slightly, making a mental note to tell her boss that next time he could find another person to play the idiot with the decoy necklace. At least it'll be over soon she thought as the necklace got yanked off. Then all hell seemed to break loose.

The ninja seemed to drop out of the sky, catching both the robed idiots and Psychic Flare by surprise. Kari cursed inwardly, she'd allowed her annoyance at the simplicity of her assignment to distract her from sensing the ninja's presence. Still the ninja seemed to be an ally, as he attacked the cult members rather than herself, who chose to run rather than fight, luckily still holding onto the necklace. One of the idiots shoved her to the ground on the way out, leaving Kari only time to send a rather nasty migraine before turning her attention back to her surroundings. The ninja that had fought the cultists helped her to her feet and asked if she was ok.

"I'm fine", Kari replied, name's Kari, "don't worry that was supposed to happen."

"You mean for creepy guys to beating up on you?", the ninja asked

"Yeah, long story," Psychic Flare said, scanning the newcomer with her psychic powers to detect any hint of ill intent. What she found instead started her. The ninja was looking at her and the first thought that she detected was <Wow, she's hot>. Kari blushed and felt slightly embarrassed, quickly finishing the scan that eliminated him a possible enemy.
"It's a bit difficult to explain, but if you'd like to come with me I can give you a few of the non-classified details.", She offered.

<Hmm, she's a stranger, but she's hot>. Kari blushed as she unintentionally picked up the ninja's thoughts. "Thank you.", she said out loud, without thinking and noticed the confusion on what she could see of his face. "Nani?", he asked and Kari shook her head.

"Come on.", she said getting into her car and verifying that the tracking device was still broadcasting its signal. She turned to ninja <Knightslider> she reminded herself, although she would be careful not to mention that name until he did, some people got freaked out when they learned that she could easily read their minds, and now was not the time for that type of confrontation. She quickly filled Knightslider in on the non-classified aspects of her job and her mission as she drove them to the warehouse. Pulling up as close as possible and staying out the line of sight, Psychic Flare turned to her new ally. "Well here we are, so I guess there's just one question: Are you ready? Cause we're here!"
Knightslider looked at her and suddenly cried out "I forgot condom!" striking a crazy pose. Kari looked at him for a long moment, before he said, "Oh, wait, yes I'm ready." The two left the car and crept toward the warehouse with a significantly greater amount of stealth than the idiots that had mugged her earlier. Concealed near the entrance was a familiar figure of one of Psychic Flare's fellow agents. Beside her Knightslider silently drew his Katana causing Kari to quickly intereced and introduce them to each other, unable to hide a smirk when Knight Slider told Mindshift that she had a nice lap. Her mirth faded quickly however as she and Mindshift compared notes and the three quickly developed an attack plan.

The fighting was intense but brief, leading Kari to once again wonder if Azgarath was the great and powerful evil that his minions claimed he was, why he seemed completely incapable of getting decent worshipers. She looked down in disgust at the prone figure lying at her feet, she'd assumed that they would be weak minded, but this was ridiculous, she'd barely been trying. Decent fighters, but lously in terms of any type of mental protection. Taking a look around to make sure that all of the cultists were knocked out, she barely acknowledged Mindshift as she announced that she was headed back to base. Glancing up at Knightslider she smiled faintly. "Just another day on the job."


Last edited by Psychic Flare on Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:32 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:22 am

One addendum Bill just told me, Mindshift grabs the artifacts when no one's looking, so neither Takashi or Kari sees it happen.

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  Azreal Cross on Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:10 am

quick question the box mentioned is it the one we opened?

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:20 pm

Azreal Cross wrote:quick question the box mentioned is it the one we opened?
Nope, totally different game and totally different time, so totally different box. This box is (to my knowledge) just a box imbued with magical powers so it can contain the artifacts safely. These events are actually in the past, around the year 2004/05. This is what happened during the very beginning adventures of the Visionarys, before they ever became a team.

What you play in is called Twilight Alliance, aka East Coast Visionarys, and that game occurs in the present time (2008). Different characters, different time. Same time LINE, same universe, but not the same time or place. Also, the Visionarys are a west-coast based team. We decided back when we were playing that there were too many teams on the east coast (in NYC), so initially the game was set in Seattle. That base was eventually destroyed and the Visionarys moved to their permanent city of residence, San Fransisco.

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:21 am

Here's a draft of the fight against the followers of Azgerath!

[CURRENT ADDENDUM]

Mindshift hung back for a moment before they rushed in, checking the folded up bag she wore like a backpack. The impromptu team burst through the doors of the building, startling the robed figures in the middle of their ritual. Streaks of red lightning arced towards the door as the trio dove for cover, Knightslider simply disappearing only to reappear in a white mist above some of the ritualists.

"Where is my sword?!" he cried, smashing down on top of the robed figures, scattering them across the warehouse. Then he disappeared again, but failed to reappear. Strangely, ritualists went flying anyway, and the ninja reappeared as his weapon collided with their bodies. Meanwhile, Mindshift was spending her time looking for the center altar. She slipped around a stack of boxes... and a raven emerged from the other side, flying up into the rafters to locate the altar.

Psychic Flare didn't seem perturbed by the disappearance of Mindshift and the appearance of the raven. She focused her own energies on fighting through the robed figures the old fashioned way: blasting their minds to bits. With a graceful sweep of her hands the ritualists were thrown against a wall in a neat bunch; she focused her mind and moment later they collapsed to the ground, clutching their heads.

The raven lifted off from its perch, the altar and magic circle having been spotted a short distance away. The circle was a glowing red arrangement of runes painted on the floor in what Mindshift hoped was just red pain. As the raven neared the ritualists it morphed, and a black bear pounded down at full weight upon the startled group. The bear roared and clawed, more robed figures flying into nearby crates and boxes. Suddenly a wall exploded and in rushed a small wave of water, carrying a very angry looking Mediterranean woman.

"Where is my necklace!?" she screeched, sending a wall of ritualists flying backwards with a concentrated blast of water. Knightslider stopped fighting for a moment to watch, but quickly returned to the battle, avoiding another blast from a robed ritualist.

Then the tide tried to turn. The ritualists were no longer caught off guard, and retaliated with lethal force. Knightslider narrowly evaded a powerful blast that destroyed a box at his back. More blasts were heard throughout the warehouse as the robed figures tried desperately to fend off the attack. Mindshift was battling right next to the altar and the ritual seemed to be reaching a climax. She flung one of the robed figures at the altar, trying desperately to stop the ritual before it could be completed. Her plan backfired slightly, and as she focused on the altar, another ritualist snuck up from behind and tackled her. She shifted into a gorilla to escape his grasp, but as the ritualist fell from her body, his hand caught on the necklace she wore. The fairy charm on the necklace hit the floor within the magic circle, the light eminating from it changed from red to green, a bright flash filling the warehouse for a moment. A second later the robed men began to flee, their ritual clearly disturbed.

After the fighting stopped, Mindshift remained at the altar, hidden from view by several rows of crates. She reached down and scooped up the artifacts from the fallen altar, stuffing them into a large duffle bag she'd unfolded from the backpack it had come in. Elsewhere, Knightslider appeared in a cloud of white mist beside Psychic Flare. The psychic seemed distracted, and after looking around for a moment, she turned to Knightslider with a faint smile.

"Just another day on the job," she said. She gave a nod and a wave to Mindshift, who was busy adjusting the duffle bag on her shoulder. Then Psychic Flare left, seemingly in a hurry. The Mediterranean woman had also left.

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:21 pm

I'm going to do the alleyway scene from Knightslider's view next. Some minor meshing and editing should work fine to combine the two viewpoints.

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Thu Aug 14, 2008 3:43 pm

Alrighty, this scene starts right at the end of the concert and leads all the way up to right before the fight... Like, literally a line before the fight. It's really long O.o By the way, I'm putting "current addendum" at the beginning of scenes that are up to date but not yet part of the "current version".

[CURRENT ADDENDUM]

The ninja had disappeared before the soldiers looked back up, and a few minutes later Takashi Hakiro crawled out from beneath the stage, looking not much worse for the wear. The female solider smirked slightly and leaned over the rock star's shoulder.

"You may want to wear a hat to hide that goose egg growing out the back of your head." Takashi's eyes widened as he looked at the female solider and he reached up to the back of his head, wincing.

"Ah, arigato..." he said, eyeing the female soldier suspiciously. She just winked and walked off with the other solider as police called them over for questioning. Takashi watched her out of the corner of his eye for the next half hour as police questioned him and cameras captured his image for the next day's paper. He waved off offers for interviews and cited the fact that he was both tired and sore as an excuse to leave.

Through a flurry of questions about possible injuries he slipped out to his limo. He frowned as he slid inside and closed the door. He'd lost track of the female solider during the ruckus, and that bothered him. She seemed to know who he was, and he didn't like that. Too much was at stake. He leaned back against the leather seat to relax as the limo pulled away, but then winced and leaned forward again, reaching a hand to the back of his head.

"I am needing a helmet, I think..." he muttered, pulling the hand away and looking for blood. There wasn't any thankfully, and the bandana he'd wrapped around his head had worked well enough to hide the bump during the flurry of media and police attention. He pulled it off and rubbed it between his fingers, contemplating his situation. After a deep sigh, he decided the best action would be to go on patrol tonight, and see if he could find the female solider.

Back at the hotel, he pulled his usual stunt of locking himself in his room alone, and then he changed back into his ninja gear. He popped a few asprin and then pulled up the face mask. Either the female solider had pulled down the face mask to look and then replaced it, or she'd know before hand and thus had no reason to peek. He walked through the room and made sure all of the windows and doors were locked before standing in the middle of the room. He took a deep breath... and disappeared.

Up on the roof of the hotel he reappeared in a cloud of white mist. He'd staked out the place earlier in the day and knew it was the perfect place to start a patrol. He had several other tricks up his sleeves that could have gotten him out of the hotel room without using any powers at all, but this was by far the safest and easiest way. Normally, he'd slip into an invisible state and go searching for crime, but tonight, he wanted to be found. He turned, and ran at the edge of the hotel roof, launching himself over the edge in a swan dive. The adrenaline rushed through his body, just like it did during the concert earlier that night. Halfway down he disappeared and a moment later he landed in a crouch on a nearby building. Not a bad way to start the evening...

He raced through the Seattle night, leaping to buildings, teleporting from rooftop to rooftop. Finally he stopped, seeing an event taking place in the alleyway below. Thought it was dark, he could still see the heat of the bodies thrashing in the narrow alley. He counted two attackers, and what seemed to be one defenseless maiden in distress. Now this was his kind of crime fighting. He grinned, his body dissipating into nothingness. He crawled head-first down the side of the building, invisible to the sight of the figures below. As he approached he realised it was a group of the same robed figures that had attacked his concert. Well wasn't that convenient? It was also troubling. Did this woman have an artifact too?

He pushed off of the building, crashing down upon the shoulders of one of the robed figures, flattening him to the ground with a groan. Upon impact his invisibility broke, but it hardly mattered. He had the element of surprise. He flung a punch at the other figure's nose but the man managed to dodge, taking off down the alleyway. The other had scrambled to his feet as well and ran in the opposite direction, something glimmering in his hand. As he passed by the woman he shoved her violently to get her out of his way, and she fell backwards toward the ground. Takashi spun, reaching out to catch her and sit her down gently.

"Are you having alright?" he asked her, helping her to her feet.

"I'm fine," she replied. "Name's Kari. Don't worry, that was supposed to happen" she said with a bit of a smug smile.

"You mean for creepy guys to beating up on you?" Takashi asked, looking confused.

"Yeah, long story," Kari replied. "If you come with me, I can explain. Trust me, what I have to say will definitely interest you." Takashi continued to stare at her. She wasn't half bad looking, in fact, she was pretty damn hot. Seemed as if the night was turning out too badly after all. Kari blushed suddenly, and Takashi tipped his head to the side. "It's a bit difficult to explain," Kari continued as if to change the subject of a silent conversation. "But if you'd like to come with me I can give you a few of the non-classified details." Takashi nodded, and followed her. She was really hot, especially from behind... Kari turned suddenly, a flushed grin on her face. "Thank you," she said.

"Nani?" Takashi said, and his confusion must have been clear, because she just shook her head and turned away again with a grin.

"Come on," she said, getting into a car parked outside of the alley. Takashi slid in beside her and watched as she fiddled with a few instruments. After a few minutes, she explained the basics of her mission, which seemed to involve tracking the robed figures and something about magic artifacts. "The group I work with has been tracking these guys for months."

"Who is they, what is group you are with?" Takashi wasn't paying complete attention; the back of his head was hurting again and she was much prettier to look at than to listen to.

"It's a government group called the Institute. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you more without the proper clearance. If you're as helpful as I hope, that won't be an issue." She smiled again.

"Are you at least being able to say who robed men are?" Takashi asked. He was wondering how they were connected to his katana.

"They call themselves the Followers of Azgarath." Kari replied, looking out the window as they turned a corner, driving onto a rougher road.

"What is an azgerath?" Takashi asked, scratching the side of his head in confusion. English was a confusing language.

"We don't know who or what it is, but it's bad. Secondly, as I said earlier the attack on my in the alley earlier was part of a plan." She leaned over, pointing to the computer screen she'd been fiddling with earlier. "The followers have been collecting artifacts with unique magical energies for the past few months. The one I was wearing was bugged." Takashi sighed in frustration, watching the screen.

"What is for an insect on necklace?" he asked, wondering how a bug could possibly help an investigation. Maybe this lady was just crazy...

"It means we can see where they are," Kari said with a laugh. "When they stop, maybe you can help me kick some bad-guy butt?" she asked, offering him her hand to shake. Takashi shrugged; what did he have to loose? He needed to get that katana back.

"Hai!" Takashi replied, and Kari grinned. "I am Knightslider," he added, and Kari nodded.

"Excellent. We've been tracking the cult for several months as I said, and tonight they're up to something big. We've got to stop them." Over the next few minutes Takashi's attention waned once more. "Thanks to the bug, we've tracked them to an abandoned warehouse." They finally pulled up close to an ominous looking warehouse. Kari turned to Takashi. "Well, here we are. So, I guess there's just one question: Are you ready?"

Takashi was snapped back to attention and caught the end of her statement, something about being ready. He panicked and said the first thing that came to mind, since he couldn't remember what she had been talking about.

"I forgot condom!" He cried, holding up his hands in a defensive position. He paused as she stared blankly at him for a moment, and then he realised what she actually meant. "Oh, wait, yes. I'm ready." he said. Kari shook her head in dismay as they slipped out of the car and stared at the warehouse. As they approached it, another figure manifested out of the darkness. Takashi reached for his katana, expecting the fight to begin. Kari reached back and pressed against his hands, shaking her head.

"Wait Knightslider, she's back up." Takashi's eyebrows knotted together as he stopped. His eyes widened for a moment as the woman drew closer.

"You are nice lap!" he cried, pointing at the woman. She looked exactly like the female solider from the concert.

"Thanks, I think," the woman said with a wink. "My name is Mindshift by the way. Anyway, I've already surveyed the area. There are about a dozen or so followers in there, and they've already started chanting. We don't have much time." Kari nodded.

"So, the straight forward approach then?" Kari replied, and it was Mindshift's turn to nod.

"Of course." Mindshift said with a grin.

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Re: Visonaries Reset #1 1st draft

Post  TakashiHakiro on Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:27 pm

4/5 of us already know this, but we're working on the Visionary story on googledocs.com, so we'll be uploading a full fresh version of it every few days Smile

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